By Jabulani Notice (CLC in Botswana)
I recently delivered a talk on “Marriage and Family Life: The Role of Men in the Church and in the Family” at the diocesan meeting for all men on November 15, 2025. The meeting was convened by the bishop’s office to give men the opportunity to gather and share concerns affecting them both in the Church and within their families. Here is my talk:
Man was created in the image and likeness of God and entrusted with the authority to care for the family and the world (Gen 1:26–28). In this process, God created woman for man. Therefore, where there is a man, there is a woman, and from them come children. This marks the beginning and foundation of the family.
After establishing the family as part of creation, God proclaimed, “This is VERY good” (Gen 1:31). Thus, God created the family with love, peace, and good intentions.
St. Paul makes this clear in Ephesians 5:21–33: “Be humble with one another… A husband is the head of his wife just as Christ is the head of the Church… Wives, respect your husbands as the Church respects Christ… Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves His Church.”
These principles form the foundation of a family where love, peace, and respect prevail. Such harmony fosters unity in the home. Marriage and family are gifts from God; therefore, men should guard and protect this sacred institution with care and dedication.
Considering this, we recognize that men have been given both the authority and the responsibility to guide the family and the wider community. A man is the head of the family, just as Jesus Christ is the head of the Church, both exercising love and authority.
A man is the protector of his family against all forms of wrongdoing and violence. The Snake is still present. A man is also the provider of the family’s needs, including shelter and finances.
A man is the facilitator of God’s law and moral standards, which is why men’s council structures (kgotla) and ‘Boy-Child Programs’ have been established in some parishes. Our culture and norms are rooted in the Church. A man represents Jesus Christ in the family; therefore, he has the duty to preserve faith and love within the household.
The presence and active involvement of men bring dignity, authority, and love to the home. For this reason, men should be treated with affection and respect, not used as figures to frighten children for misbehavior.
Men are also responsible for reconciling family members during times of misunderstanding. In moments of trouble or marital conflict, we call on respected elder men who mediate family disputes to intervene impartially and without fear.
Conclusion
- These roles and responsibilities of men should extend to, and be visible within, the Church.
- Statistics show that families and marriages are breaking down at an alarming rate due to gender-based violence. In many cases, men are the perpetrators, harming women and children and undermining love and relationships. Yet, we must not despair or give up.
- The Church needs men now more than ever to preach the Gospel of Love, the Gospel of Jesus Christ within the family, and to help provide a stable and sustainable environment in both the family and the Church through existing structures such as the Men’s Council and the community assembly.
May the Lord guide our vision and mission.
